i'm a little apprehensive sometimes when things start going well, a little fearful that all these might be too good to be true... it's been a role that i've been toying with for the longest time and when i arrived at it somehow it feels a little surreal. perhaps it is true that if one tries hard enough one would really eventually succeed. hopefully this will be a clean slate for me, a better place for me. i really must learn to speak less and just mind my own business.