Wanderlust

2011-04-26T01:25:00.001+08:00

i'm a little apprehensive sometimes when things start going well, a little fearful that all these might be too good to be true... it's been a role that i've been toying with for the longest time and when i arrived at it somehow it feels a little surreal. perhaps it is true that if one tries hard enough one would really eventually succeed. hopefully this will be a clean slate for me, a better place for me. i really must learn to speak less and just mind my own business.

2011-04-14T00:11:00.004+08:00

yesterday was one of those everything-seemed-right kinda day.

sorted problems out early in the morn.. when i walked out of that office it felt like my eyes cleared and a great load disappeared off my shoulders.

got my ring fixed and when they didn't charge me for it.. i felt this day was just getting better and better...

received good news in the early evening.. which made me wanna bounce off the walls... it felt too good to be true..

the hubs had good news too on his return.. good vibes on the 13th :)

the past few weeks, i saw no light at the end of the tunnel.. but thank you for putting up with my seesaw-ing moods.. your support and positivity buoyed up my pessimism..

2011-04-09T23:57:00.001+08:00

Tired...
Of facing rude people who throw tantrums at me
Of saying sorry for things I have not done
Of standing in high heels all day
Of not having my own workspace
Of having zero privacy
Of always having my lunch interrupted
Of working on weekends and public holidays
Of being unappreciated
Of facing hypocrites and two headed snakes
Of chasing impossible targets
Of this job I have no interest in
of this job which I absolutely hate

2010-10-10T00:28:00.004+08:00

slightly more than a year has gone by since our wedding, and i have many happy memories from the 3 days of celebration. it all passed by so quickly.. what stood out was the love and friendship shown to us.. i wished i had savored the moments more..

i love my hubs... for taking the time and effort to plan the string of surprises and more importantly.. for loving me.. flaws and all..

happy anniversary darling..

2009-12-02T16:48:00.011+08:00

don't judge me when you don't know me.

who are we to judge anyone.

2009-11-05T02:56:00.009+08:00

for dinner a few nights ago, a very healthy stir-fry of broccoli and shitake mushrooms, and the husband bought rice and kung pao chicken from the cafeteria downstairs cos we have no rice cooker yet and no meat in the fridge! i'm looking forward to doing more cooking once we have settled down and actually start buying fresh ingredients and seasonings and stuff. i can't wait to get hold of an oven too.

2009-09-06T00:10:00.004+08:00

i am enjoying this nest building time, buying little things for our home, and at the same time balancing the wants and the needs, always this tussle between form or function. but slowly and surely we are moving things along bit by bit, albeit always with a few speedbumps along the way. i am looking forward to having friends over, leisurely swims, and spending time at the park across the road.

the weekend began with a leisurely friday teatime at the auyongs. i am greeted as usual by a very happy latte and totally charmed by their lovely girl missy. i can see why full time parenting is so fulfilling and rewarding. saturday lunch was just as leisurely spent, it was heartland shopping at its best. i found my paper bags thanks to grace! we had fruits and coffee later back at her place. i love these meetups at friends' homes, it's relaxed, and very comfortable.

27 days till the wedding day and i really have to get down to making sure things are on track. so much to do!

2009-08-31T01:03:00.004+08:00

we have found our temporary nest, and we have a month to ready it.

everything house related always happen in a rush for us and in the most unexpected way. i am liking this pattern of haphazardness.

so much time on my hands, and i feel a pressing need to make better use of it. approaching the third decade sometime soon i am forced to look at what i have achieved.. it wasn't much. i lived my days in a hazy blur and that is not good enough. there have been lots of regrets, i have to make sure i don't make any more. along on this quest, i am reminded by this question, 'how would you like to be remembered', and i realise there is so much more i want to do, so much more i can do and ought to do, not just for myself, but for the people around me. it seems a little too late in a practical practical world, but better late than never, and at least i can say i tried and never gave up trying.

2009-08-08T23:32:00.004+08:00

so much is going on and I just have one thought in my mind:

I have the best husband in the world.

2009-07-26T00:28:00.005+08:00

I finally left my job. It wasn't a sudden decision, and though it was much looked forward to, it didn't make it any easier when the last flight was over.

I had a love-hate relationship with that job, it gave me lots of good memories and opportunities and the financial stability that came along with it was something I took comfort in. It isn't so much about the amount but the stability of it that mattered. And so when it came time to bid goodbye, the reality pill was a little hard to swallow. It might seem trivial to some, but after so many years of regular income it'll definitely take some time to get used to it. Taking that step out of my comfort zone wasn't easy, but I look forward to whatever lies ahead.

At least I know staying at home is not for me. I'd feel too distanced from the world outside, and cutting back is hard! For now, a short break is all I'll allow myself. With the wedding just 2 months away, there is so much to occupy myself with.

2009-06-23T01:14:00.002+08:00

we collected our wedding bands today yay!

2009-06-13T03:18:00.005+08:00

i love it when you pick me up from the airport. a little something to look forward to.

tired as i was, i was eager to show and tell my buys from seoul and san francisco to my very patient darling, who bought me my very late dinner as well.

on thursday afternoon we headed to little india to pick out our wedding outfits. the sights and sounds were a delight and i was itching for my camera. it'd be nice to return and just take some time out to capture moments. i had more important business to attend to. after trying on several different sarees we decided that maroon-red still looked better on me, settling on a beautiful and intricate piece studded with swarovski crystals and gold thread. picking out the darling's suit was just as difficult, going through suit after suit, we eventually picked one that had just the right amount of bling and details without being overly gaudy.

there is still much left to be done. just a 112 days to day 1.

__________________________________________________

i attended an exhibition on friday that left me thinking a lot. i rather enjoyed the silence and the space. to reflect and to interpret. with so much buzz in our modern urban lives it was a luxury to have the chance to get in touch with the artist in me. i believe we all need to take some time to chill and nurture our inner selves.

I Like.

2009-05-24T17:48:00.007+08:00

Pet Peeves

2009-05-21T12:25:00.005+08:00

at Uniqlo a few weeks back this irritating auntie behind me insisted on encroaching on my personal space while queuing for the dressing rooms, nudging into my back with every step forward that i took.

it irritated me no end. what was her hurry. as if it would get her in any quicker.

prior to that, two more irritating people decided to stop and chat right in the path of those heading for the dressing rooms, oblivious to the people trying to squeeze their way past them. what's wrong with these people? selfish, inconsiderate, and just plain unaware.

strangely, i don't have such unpleasant encounters when shopping in new york/paris/milan/london/tokyo. and they are no less crowded or busy than singapore.

2009-04-06T03:16:00.004+08:00

I shed a few tears saying goodbye to the car which we dated in. a little silly.. perhaps. the distinctive loud purr I know so well, I will surely miss.

it's the last ride back home... thank you blackmajik.

2009-02-27T00:46:00.004+08:00

it's almost a year since we got engaged and while our initial plans were met with a slight speedbump, we've managed to negotiate our way out of it and we're back on track again. so my blog now has an additional big-ass countdown clock.

and just as I thought our plans were all sorted out, mom had to throw me another curveball, which sad to say upsetted me (and her) a lot. or maybe I was just over-emotional. I had planned to keep the gown a surprise for my baby when I came down the aisle. But tradition dictates I can't leave the house wearing anything else BUT the gown (or so I was told), I had no choice but to do otherwise, it was non-negotiable. I gave in for the sake of making peace. sigh.

the dearest was so nice when he comforted me later, assuring me that he'd love whatever it was I would wear as I came down the aisle.

oh so drama.

2009-01-31T01:12:00.004+08:00

I have returned from Japan with a new haircut, brown boots, golden shoes, a funky jacket, and more stuff to add to my list of nice-to-haves. Like shoes. Louboutins would be great. And makeup. And skin supplements. Because time is showing on the face, and the dry air up high is not helping. the Dior black cristalle is a real beauty. edgy and bling-ed. I have a renewed fervour for taking better care of myself, both inside and out. Like the old adage, there are no ugly women, just lazy ones.

I have a lot of shopping to do.

2009-01-13T00:02:00.004+08:00

the past few days have been packed to the brim with exciting stuff.. a nice quiet Japanese dinner with Grace & Joo on Friday night, Jo's wedding on Saturday, Sunday brunch with Mei at the lovely ps cafe, followed by a very regrettable movie with my darling (a complete waste of our precious time!), facial on Monday, followed by gown trying and wedding planning in the evening.

my precious leave will be over soon...again... and I didn't get to spend much time with my dearest :(

2009-01-06T16:00:00.004+08:00

I went shopping in Paragon whilst waiting for my darling to come pick me up and I wandered into Metro and spotted the Givenchy mascara I wanted to try. The lady sauntered over lazily and when she saw me eyeing that mascara in particular, gave me a rather smug look and just stood there waiting. I had to prompt her about the product and she didn't seem very interested in selling it. Then she told me "anyway it is sold out" in a condescending tone. She could've told me it was sold out earlier AND still be most willing to demonstrate the product to me AND inform me should stocks arrive. BUT she did not tell me early on, was absolutely unwilling and uninterested, and only said stocks arrive next week after I asked.

I'm usually quite forgiving of service staff unless they step on my tail and fail in the most basic of human courtesies. She definitely failed on all counts. I'm very happy to stick with my tried and tested mascaras from Lancome, Chanel, Dior, all of which have shown good customer service.

Givenchy, I will never look at that brand again.

A few days back, I dropped by the Chanel counter at Robinsons Centerpoint and while I was merely browsing, the sales assistant was professional and forthcoming, explaining that my usual Chanel foundation was being replaced by a new range, offering to color test for me again, and eventually I purchased a product from her, even though I could've saved a fair bit from duty free. Chanel has never failed me in my expectations. From Singapore, to New York, to Tokyo, and even to Honolulu. Imagine my surprise when getting home from my dream vacation to Hawaii, I find a thank you card from Chanel all the way from Honolulu. Now that's what service should be all about.

p/s: Shangri-La, PS Cafe@Harding, Flutes at the Fort, Thank you for the good food and the excellent service!

snapshots of 2008

2009-01-06T15:14:00.013+08:00

January 2008

February 2008

March 2008

August 2008

September 2008

September/November 2008

November 2008

December 2008

2009-01-05T11:39:00.004+08:00

it's been a busy weekend since getting back from Los Angeles & Tokyo. It was a happy reunion with my darling on friday afternoon. It's nice to be hugged so tightly. We went shopping for the home, starting with pots and pans and cutlery sets. I am loving shopping for homey stuff, and fingers crossed the future home will be ours' to have soon. I couldn't take my mind off the cover picture of a design book we saw. I'm gonna go get that book.

Saturday steamboat dinner with Jo and friends, where we discussed 'gate-crashing' games for her upcoming wedding day. the poor gal is so stressed out! I see a potential for the help of a professional planner. I'm really loving weddings, perhaps one day I will set up a wedding company to help stressed out couples. Running the show is my kind of thing ha.

On Sunday we met up with darling's long time friend and it was sweet seeing her mom and her settled in their new home. She gave us a home interiors book for christmas and it was so apt and timely. She's starting me off on my home interiors design process! then we had a birthday dinner for grandma at her favourite place near home. my grandma is such a cutie, she's so tiny but so feisty still.

There's so much to be done. I realised that while going through my calendar. Besides penning in work days, I had little pockets to fill with facials and treatments and meet ups with friends and wedding things to do and house hunting days and ballet classes and friends' weddings! seven (including mine) at last count. fabulous!

2009-01-03T04:29:00.006+08:00

2008 has just passed and I am still getting used to being in the new year. the old year had at times felt like it was moving at a snail's pace, and when the last day of the year arrived it was exhilarating and also a little sad.

It had been a significant year, the year we went from boyfriend/girlfriend to fiance/fiancee, when that much needed holiday to Hawaii in March became more than just another holiday (I loved Hawaii but his proposal there made it all the more special).

It was a year of excited planning and house hunting, 2009 will be more of the nitty gritty details and hopefully finally landing our precious future home... I am starting to add home magazines and books to my library of fashion and wedding literature.

Two of my girlfriends got married and I am looking forward to more weddings this year.

Work wise, it was a year where I really felt comfortable working, the year I got the SOAR Award, and it is with mixed feelings that I am planning my departure.

The year came to an end with my birthday surprise, where I was pampered like a queen and I spent the last day of the year in one of my favourite cities: Tokyo.

There is much to be thankful for in the year past, for relatively good health (save for the occasional aches and colds and getting hit with eczema), safe flights, friendships old and new, and family of course.

I was asked during the flight home if I had made any resolutions for 2009, I didn't. My resolutions tend to be repeated annually. I decided it'd be better to continually make improvements to how I live, to continue improving on what I have achieved thus far, living more healthily, more consciously, more quality than quantity.

It's gonna be an exciting year :)

2008-11-17T22:08:00.006+08:00

I am going to be more assertive. More and more I feel taken advantage of and I am taken aback by my own reactions. There has to be a balance between being assertive without coming across as being blunt or careless with words. Being made more conscious of what I say has resulted in me saying less and less and I feel myself becoming less and less. And I am tired of this. It will be difficult, but I will try nonetheless. Constant reminders....

We are still home hunting... I can't wait to eventually find our future home.

Friday night dinner with Auntie Deb and Uncle Jeff at the Terror Club, a second feast after the afternoon luncheon I had at Conrad for the SOAR Awards. It's always nice to be recognised for my efforts and it felt good to be in the limelight for once.

Sunday afternoon ice cream tea party at the Auyongs and their new addition. She's such a pretty baby! Thanks to the Auyongs for inviting us over.

One more flight before the last lot of leave for 2008. I am so in need of a break. The darling is up to no good again and I am waiting with bated breath what the surprise is gonna be :)

2008-11-08T19:59:00.005+08:00

we met up in hongkong for a short lunch date, he had wanton noodles and I had dumpling ones. dessert after was double boiled harsimar for me, and mango and coconut with black glutinous rice for baby... and whatever he eats, i get a share too hee.. we walked off the bloatedness in the nearby park with the fishy smelling pond.

time passed all too quickly... hehe our little date in hongkong :)

i forgot to buy the dvd of 10 promises i made to my dog. anyone has a copy i can borrow?

2008-10-20T07:51:00.005+08:00

what a week...

first, I got called up for an ultra long range flight, disrupting the new york flight I had been prepared to do, messing up all my plans and cutting short the time spent with my baby. and of course the loss of one off day.

next, I had to work with a speedy gonzales who didn't do much but hassle us, leaving us all asking, "what's the rush?". we had 15 hours and only a third of the plane was filled. what made it worse was that my original flight had 2 really nice people to work with and I was so looking forward to that. darn.

then I got harassed in a target store in LA by a pervert. let's just say it wasn't a pretty sight. my only regret is not running that perv down with my shopping trolley and yelling for help. I only can pray that someone else has the guts to apprehend him. darn.

my 17 hour flight back was a pleasure only because of the helpful and supportive crew, and very nice passengers. it was terribly marred by the said speedy gonzales... it left me so furious, so fuming mad... gosh.. it's so bad I'm speechless now. my fellow colleagues were so nice trying to appease my anger, listening patiently to my endless ranting.

so. how was your week?

2008-10-12T18:23:00.004+08:00

on a sleepless night, thoughts of a friend lost came back to me... a friend that would have been 27 by now, perhaps pursuing her dreams of missionary work, dreams dashed by an unworthy man. it is always saddening to hear stories of the many women out there being treated poorly by their undeserving men... irresponsible men, men who think affairs are ok as long as their partners are in the dark, two-timing men, men who make use and abuse.. and i thought of my own sadness a number of years back. of my own folly... and naivety.. but i am glad i had the courage to walk away from being used, from being uncherished, from being unloved. i am no longer bitter, but with unfaithfulness and the like happening all around me, it can be disillusioning.. what happened to the vows made.. the promise to be faithful.. my feathers never fail to get ruffled when i hear of such behaviour.. and women who blatantly chase taken men.. knowingly. i believe in karma. it may not happen now, or a month, even years later perhaps.. but it will happen.

marriage can be a beautiful thing, but it takes both partners to make it work, put in the effort everyday. the day one starts to take the other for granted, things start falling apart. looking at the successful marriages around.. i realised the importance of mutual respect, of positive affirmations, and constant communication and sharing, regardless of how seemingly small or unremarkable. the phrase "grow old together" is more than the literal, relationships evolve over time, and we should learn to adapt and be willing to accept that modifications are inevitable.

with so many friends tying the knot, and my own wedding coming up, i found it apt to take a step back and re-examine this thing called marriage, and how to make it a successful union. there is much to learn... and it will be a continuous learning journey.

2008-10-11T00:17:00.009+08:00

yesterday i felt a little insecure.

felt a little insignificant.

felt a little small.

felt like i should be accomplishing more.

i don't want to be just a stewardess.

i want to be at exciting events, to feel important, to be indispensable, not be just another face in the crowd.

i am tired of being in the shadows.

tired of being in the backseat.

tired of my boring self.

2008-10-08T18:49:00.009+08:00

when unhappy things get me down, there is comfort in knowing that at the end of it all, when i get back home, my dearest will be waiting for me... and trivial upsetting matters don't matter no more.

(but where does one draw the line between friendliness and taking advantage of the situation?)

..................

during an afternoon siesta in front of the telly:

"hehe .. your stomach is making funny noises baby ..."

pictorial updates

2008-10-04T23:14:00.008+08:00

it was supposed to be a flight to jakarta, but due to circumstances, i ended up in christchurch instead.. which was just as well since i've never been there before. it is so european! beautiful churches everywhere, with the most famous right in front of our hotel. it is one of the rare memorable flights, filled with such hilarious peeps and so much laughter.. a truly enjoyable flight.

Disneyland, Anaheim

another fun flight to LA, we really let loose in Disneyland.. me and Liz breezing through the queue-less rides, and all 5 of us taking lots of crazy pictures. I lost count how many times we jumped like crazy for that up-in-the-air shot! i haven't had the time to properly upload them, with Grace's wedding to keep me busy for the weekend back home.

the happy newlyweds!

heartiest congratulations dear friends..it was a privilege to be part of your wedding Gracie.

an early birthday present from the hubby-to-be :)

we went to see mamma mia and it was such a fun toe-tapping movie. even though certain scenes were waaay too dramatic, the music really brought back so many childhood memories, it reminded me of the times spent with my parents... and the importance of family... so silly i teared at the end. we then had dinner at balithai, simple food but so good. the naughty darling excused himself to the washroom and took so long i wondered what on earth happened to him. for a fleeting moment i thought it'd be nice if he popped in with a surprise hehe... and he really did! while i was distracted by the desserts, he placed the soundtrack on my bag. such a darling my guy is :)

2008-09-23T04:12:00.005+08:00

it was back to the training centre yesterday afternoon. back in the auditorium. the auditorium where i first interviewed, where i had my graduation, where i made an embarrassing speech, where i received my training awards, and where i received my safety citation.

it felt good to be recognized.

i would like to post a picture of my award, but lest i get slapped with breach of company policy, i shall not attempt to put the pictures up. it will be displayed prominently in the new home (when we find it!).

2008-09-07T18:35:00.005+08:00

I am back in LA, sleepless.

We have been house hunting the past two weekends. And I am adding decor mags to the growing pile of wedding ones. There's so much cool stuff out there, limited only by our willingness and ability to pay. I'm not too keen on working my ass off the next 35 years to pay off a hefty loan. Quoting a wise one.. "there's no point spending out of budget to sit in a beautiful house, and worry all the time about paying for it". It's a tough act trying to balance our wants and needs. Money earned is after all meant to be used on attaining the sort of lifestyle we want, but at the same time, we have to consider saving for emergencies, and being able to adequately provide for the future.

It pays to start planning early.

Wedding-wise, I'm happy with what we've gotten so far, with most of the major areas covered. The home hunt needs much more careful consideration though. With such a volatile environment these days, it is tough making plans because who knows what might happen in five or ten years time.

As much as the material life entices, I'd much rather have a happy and fulfilling marriage and a close-knit family. The material luxuries will be nice-to-have little extras.. I still need my luxury shopping and pampering once in a while yeah.

I am a Sensible Doer

2008-09-04T15:51:00.003+08:00

The Big Picture

2008-09-03T00:17:00.005+08:00

It was movie marathon again on the flight back from Christchurch, NZ - Sex and the City, My Blueberry Nights, and Speed Racer. The first was a surprisingly enjoyable flick, and it kinda stirred up some recurring thoughts I've been having - a wedding is just the beginning for a couple, it is the after-wedding when the journey really begins. It is so easy to get carried away, wanting everything to be perfect... every little detail.. But after some careful considerations, you start to realize what really matters, and what is not that important.

Looking back at the weddings I've attended, what struck me and stayed with me the most were the emotions felt, the smiles on people's faces and how much the guests enjoyed themselves, and just being surrounded by the people who matter the most.

Some women might argue that if the guy loves you he will give you anything you want.. I'm in the camp that the wedding belongs to both parties, and it is only fair that the groom's wishes be considered. I've met women who think the guy should pay for everything since he wants to marry her, likewise, there are guys out there who want to pay for everything because they are marrying the girl. There are women who insist on a certain carat size.. and then there are the Carries out there who just want a huge beautiful closet.. I am not one to judge others.. but sometimes it's really sad when money becomes too much of a consideration between a couple. i've seen enough girls who just like the guy for their money.. either they're really smart to take care of their financial needs or despicable enough to fool the man that they really are in love with them..

Five months into planning the 'biggest event of my life', after being overwhelmed by everyone's excitement, I'm glad to be able to hear myself again. I think there have been many 'biggest events' in my life, like my first step as a toddler or the day I graduated from university. Marriage will be the next significant milestone... and who knows what else might follow.. the day we get our keys to a new home together.. raising children.. seeing my own children's first steps..

So yes, we all want a beautiful, memorable, perfect wedding, myself included (for after all, it IS that one event you will ever have only once), I have to constantly bring myself back to focus on what really matters. Taking that beautiful line from the movie:

"ever thine. ever mine. ever ours."

2008-08-12T08:56:00.006+08:00

i went a walking down 5th Ave and this was what i ended up with.

after getting the go ahead i nodded excitedly at the grinning salesperson - i'll pack it up for you right away.. - and away he went while i waited gleefully at the counter. i so love luxury shopping.

it was the icing on my cake, after a disappointing two hours in Saks, where despite discounts galore, there was not one satisfactory champagne colored frock. the bcbg store on 5th showed much promise but the ones i liked were all of the wrong size. time to step up on the shopping.. what with a bumper crop of weddings coming my way.

i also went hunting for scrapbook supplies, since most of it comes from the US anyway, and found two great stores for stocking up, in addition to a variety of papers and other bits and bops. then i headed over to williams-sonoma just so i could soak in the homey vibes and browse through the shelves of kitchenaid mixers and baking sheets and le creuset pots. and macy's home had big big sales.. i can't wait to stock up for the new home.. "king-size baby!" .. damask stripe sheets in egyptian cotton. oooh.

trips to new york are fast becoming shopping trips interspersed with bits of sightseeing thrown into the mix....very rarely though haha given the short stays and tight agenda. given more time, i'd love to explore this city in greater depth, savour it in my own sweet time.

2008-08-02T22:49:00.007+08:00

i am such a klutz... and to think my teacher just told me in the afternoon that i still dance beautifully (despite my 3 year hiatus). perhaps i was still somewhere in the clouds... a little too light-headed. i was already upset and incredibly annoyed with myself for being so stupid earlier on..(give myself a thump on the head)... and i had to go make it worse. silly words to klutzy mess. bad plus bad. my good vibes from class just dissipated.

i really am happy.

i should not allow the external to get to me.

we watched the dark knight today and yes heath ledger was really good as the joker... those creepy lips.. the darling said he's somewhat like jack nicholson. this brings to mind the latter in kubrick's the shining. now that was creepy, so much so my dear friend decided she had enough and exited the lecture theater in a flash... leaving me in a dark and cold theatre by myself all those years ago back in uni :(

2008-08-02T01:00:00.007+08:00

i had an awesome day today. the darling and i went to the planners to discuss dinner menus and so many ideas were floating around and it was all so overwhelming but exciting at the same time... it's so great to have things moving along and settling on a fab idea that's meanigful and special to the both of us. i'm really happy with it! as exciting as everything is, key to the whole event would be that the wedding reflects the both of us, that's something that i keep bringing myself back to.

(of course, budget is also a major concern... i'm such a party pooper huh ;p)

we were scheduled for a Moroccan dinner with another friend later so we killed time shopping.. and i ended up with a long-awaited pair of g-star jeans. so much for cost-cutting. anyway, dinner was really nice with flatbread, chicken tagine and excellent beef kebab. i miss chickpeas! it reminded me of my excellent chickpea and corn salad.

while chilling at our friends' place later i got an exciting piece of news..another of my dearest friends will be getting hitched next year! i am so happy for her! there goes my bridesmaid though. anyhooo i am not hung up on having only un-marrieds in the bridal party so my group of 'sisters/bridesmaids' remains unchanged haha. it would be too strange without them.

2008-07-13T17:17:00.006+08:00

i set up a little wedding corner and my magazines have gone from fashion to this:

the cashiers at borders would always ask when they see me with my stack of wedding mags, "are you getting married?" and they'd be telling me which mags are excellent. i am just glad i go to the states often enough for me to get them at local prices.

latest updates:

photographer has been confirmed! hoorah!

2008-07-12T15:28:00.004+08:00

i had a sushi-tei lunch today with my gorgeous friend. kind of a belated birthday meet-up of sorts.. and in my over-nyquil-ed state i left the present at home. duh. the gorgeous girl will come by and pick it up instead. so sweet.

so we chit chatted over ramen and udon about property and babies and weddings and i think i know where to get a good i.d. when it's time to renovate the future home! (hehehe... so not shy huh.. haha..) after lunch we needed the usual caffeine fix so off to starbucks we went, but we decided to head back indoors instead, the heat outside was a tad too much. after coffee the girl went to meet mr. choy and i headed to fairprice finest (yay finally!) to get coffee. i was supposed to just get coffee, but ended up with organic blueberries and yogurt and dried berries as well. i will miss this part of the little island.

"imagine.. next year we'll be having this in the east instead.."

2008-06-26T01:06:00.006+08:00

it's a small world after all...

i've been listening to jean danker on the radio for a long time, seen her in my glossy magazines.. but never seen her in person in tiny singapore. oddest thing is spotting her halfway round the world in new york city, while waiting for a relative to show up at columbus circle. i was quite amazed and amused. back home, former schoolmates and uni acquaintances were spotted at a recent event, but either i've changed so drastically that they failed to recognise me, or i simply did not make a strong enough impression back then. the stay in the background plan then apparently worked huh.

2008-06-23T01:26:00.007+08:00

a fruitful week this has turned out to be.. back in new york after several months and i thoroughly enjoyed the breezy summer weather whilst on my way to the whole foods market where i got myself mesclun tomato mozzarella salad and some brown rice sushi. so good, i had to go back for more, but the salad wasn't on the menu the next day. caught up with the cousin as well, and we had more japanese food for lunch, walking it all off at 5th ave. flying back as a passenger was a welcomed break, allowing time for some movie indulgence.. five was all i could manage in between snoozing.. curled up like a cat. we celebrated dad's 60th birthday with a big dinner the same day i got back, followed by more sinful indulgences in the form of an excellent passionfruit meringue from the patissier.

friday night was more food.. well we almost had no food cos the eatery's kitchen had to stop taking orders cos they couldn't cope. we still had a good time, and it was sweet seeing the darling carrying little tyler around.

saturday was especially tiring for despite a lack of sleep, i still managed to turn up on time for my long-awaited ballet class.. usually i would have just gone back under the covers! so yes.. i still love to dance and i am so glad i went back. it filled me with a sense of familiarity and structure, the order and discipline i sorely miss.

and the result of stopping ballet for three and a half years? a terrible ache from the butt down the moment i awoke on sunday. as painful as it is, it is a good pain, a wanted pain. and despite the ache, i couldn't resist wearing heels just so it matches my flirty floral dress to the wedding show. and my oh my am i glad i went.

wedding updates:

we've more or less settled venues (hotel & temple) and dates. now we have to get down to locking the florist, photographer, videographer, and makeup artist before prices go up again next year.

2008-06-04T00:40:00.005+08:00

"look baby! another harry potter!"

that's my darling's way of calling the sandwich joint, pret-a-manger. our big bus tour took us past so many we lost count. it kinda reminded me of starbucks in new york, there's one at every corner. we had a food fest in london: morning baguettes and robust coffees, crispy fish and chippies for lunch, and chinese food for dinner.. and very good nando's chicken and sweet potato mash the previous evening. that mash was so good. i loved the long days which allowed for extended sightseeing, i finally saw buckingham palace in sunlight. i had a hoppity boppity skip in my walk.. happy like a lamb in spring.. cos the darling was holding my hand walking with me.. and teasing me mercilessly :)

and at the end of our little holiday, he took me home and it was nice having him there.

he told me what he was thinking then and it made me smile...

2008-05-28T03:04:00.004+08:00

my feathers were ruffled a few days ago when a comment was passed that implied my line of work was for lowly educated people who did not make good in school and hence were relegated to a life of hard work. i was ticked off. i could not keep quiet and take it as it was, because it was unjustified and unfair to my colleagues and i. this is honest work and a life that one outside will never understand. so i revealed my education status, to a stunned response.. silence. i was seething inside and smiling outside. yes i'm an honours graduate, from nus.. now what do you have to say about that. i hate it when people just assume that only stupid people fly. i have colleagues with masters degrees for goodness sake. and being well-educated doesn't equate to making one better than others. it felt great trampling down that assumption.

do not judge a book by its cover.

2008-05-18T01:41:00.005+08:00

life sure takes on strange twists and turns. for some reason i knew i'd be called up for that LA flight. somehow i always get thrown the dreaded. but thankfully, things have turned out pretty well. i lamented the added standby after. and of course, i'd be given another dreaded flight. but again, it turned out well, and lo and behold i saw my ballet teacher at the gate-hold room, waiting to board my flight. we had a nice catchup session and it made me wanna dash back to class even more.. i wish i could've given her extra attention during the flight but my heavy workload and circumstances did not permit it. i cannot wait for June to arrive hoorah!

2008-04-23T02:00:00.009+08:00

walking past the hilo hattie store in LA brought back many happy memories of our hawaiian holiday. we were greeted at honolulu airport by flying boy's aunt and uncle with floral leis and welcome hugs. the rest of the day was spent in bed. my little nap turned into a deep 6 hour sleep. we got off on a slow start, but that's ok. we're on vacation and i was happy taking my own sweet time. the pace picked up over the next few days as more and more activities started to fill our time, starting with visits to the various attractions around Ford Island - the USS Arizona Memorial, USS Missouri, and the Pacific Aviation Museum. the next few days passed all too quickly: we did the touristy thing - jostled with crowds at Waikiki, went for a luau at a very romantic seaside location, ate shrimp from shrimp trucks, tried shaved ice (our ice kacang is still tops though), had a breathtaking helicopter ride around kauai, watched whales, and shopped! buying my first chanel 2.55 is such a milestone for me. and we spied mr. chanel man at the airport when we got back from Big Island. (i received a card from Chanel when i got home.. came all the way from honolulu. i am impressed.)

the day i got my 2.55, i thought that topped my entire year.. the darling managed to top that with an even bigger surprise.. his proposal :) which came with the down-on-my knee, will u marry me.. and of course that beautiful solitaire. i said yes to a wonderful man, after i got over the immense surprise. there is much to look forward to.

2008-04-20T21:08:00.004+08:00

it's been a month since and it's a heady mix of happiness and excitement. there are so many things to be done, so many decisions to make, it's a once in a lifetime affair and i want it to be memorable and beautiful and personal, a reflection of me and you. compromises have to be made for sure, and i am looking at areas to cut back or splash out. planner? unlikely. gowns to keep? unlikely. entertainers? perhaps not but a jazz trio would be nice. i should be thinking about gowns and all things pretty but i am preoccupied with the photography instead.. which is at the very top of my list. fingers crossed i find someone who fits the style i want, price negotiable.

my brain is bubbling over with so many ideas.. it can be overwhelming at times.. so a chill pill i will take. i need a long long run tomorrow.

2008-03-11T02:04:00.004+08:00

i'm an old woman...

it started off with a popping right knee. and there is the constant sore right shoulder. then there was my frightening lower back episode. now, the right shoulder is frozen stiff. it is much better now, thanks to loving hands and a very effective pain relief gel.

this will not do...

today i went to saigon, had a cheese omelette, and came back to an indomee lunch. i watched planet earth for a while and felt awed and humbled by nature. it was sad though thinking how much Man has destroyed. we adjourned in the evening to k. and c.'s lovely home for more fast food indulgence and c.'s homemade cupcakes. i had chocolate with peanut butter cream and he had classic buttercream. and i hugged the kitchenaid mixer.. i want one too! and we gushed over ovens and kitchen islands and proper pantries, while the darling stoned on the couch after a burping good meal.

i am loving random meetups.

2008-03-09T05:32:00.003+08:00

boohoo...

the bird and the bee is sold out!

i wouldn't have been able to make it anyway... sigh.

2008-02-16T23:10:00.004+08:00

The darling and I spent a lovely Saturday afternoon having pots of earl gray tea and lots of yummy goodies with mr P. and the Auyongs. We were greeted at the door by a very enthusiastic Latte who welcomed us with friendly licks and a furiously wagging tail. It was so funny seeing him having a hard time deciding who he should play with next.. his bum refusing to stay down on the floor.. the command should be sit AND stay i laughed. The poor boy compromised by sitting but still shuffling his furry bum towards the darling begging for attention. Priceless :) We dwelled over tea for so long, catching up on what's happening and peppered with bits of gossip, I forgot I hadn't toured the hosts' lovely home yet. We had a quick peek at the rooms, and Yuling showed us what they have been busy with and it is such a pretty pretty idea.

Till next time Yuling & Andy, and Latte boy of course :)

2008-02-16T22:13:00.007+08:00

Amsterdam

the planned visit to heineken was aborted when we were informed by the concierge that it would be closed for six months. so we proceeded to Anne Frank Huis which was also on the must-see list. and it was worth every euro spent. It felt surreal walking into the old canal house, imagining what life must have been like in those dark days. Walking the same floors, climbing the same steep staircases, looking at the same mirror in the bathroom... and ducking behind that old bookcase shielding the secret annex.. the height markings on the wall and her actual diary.. peeping out from behind the blinds... feeling the fear that she must've felt.. as if the enemy were really out there. I stood for a long time in those rooms, feeling a sadness for the immense cruelty and atrocities that took place. I didn't know why it affected me so much.. perhaps it was the loss of freedom.. the needless suffering of so many.. and all because one man decided he had to have things his way. I walked out into the cold crisp air humbled and grateful for the life I enjoy.

And enjoy we did, celebrating the lunar new year away from home with a grand dinner complete with lo hei and sparklers and mandarin oranges and very satisfied tums. and this being Amsterdam.. we had to go check out the red light district.. and some very interesting coffeeshops.. strictly see no touch ;p

The rounds of feasting continued back home, followed by Valentine's Day, when my dearest surprised me with dinner at il lido. It was a decadent meal, starting with an amuse bouche of crab tartare, which was followed by an excellent carpacchio of scallops with caviar. we thought it'd be the main next, almost forgetting there was still a small portion of saffron risotto with goose liver first. i was pretty stuffed by then.. but there was more to come. My main of rock lobster was just nice, and he had braised wagyu beef cheek with truffle and mash served in an air-tight jar.. so pretty we thought it was dessert. Chocolate platters followed and I took pictures while waiting for my pot of tea to arrive... and my food to digest. We took our time finishing up the remains of our tea and coffee and i finished my wine for once. After such indulgence I was ready to walk home.. but settled for a leisurely stroll in the area.

Thanks baby it was a lovely night. Muacks!!!

2008-02-01T17:18:00.002+08:00

the back is aching, a hazard caused by long hours and high demands.. and an inappropriate stool. i feel like re-decorating. again. i want to throw out everything and start all over but doing that is gonna render me with holey-er pockets. and my ever-growing shopping list does not allow for on-a-whim decorating fits. i shall content myself with dreaming and waiting for my white space.

our seats are confirmed! yay! now comes the hard part: planning. so much to see and do, so little time.

2008-01-29T23:53:00.002+08:00

it's the second time we've had to meet in the airport... if only for those brief minutes. he tells me to get some rest while i pray for a safe flight for him.

and i went home happy.

2008-01-21T14:20:00.002+08:00

Jack Kerouac Exhibition, NY Public Library

the past years being 'on the road' (and in the air most of the time) has got me thinking that while travelling has its many obvious benefits: visiting foreign places, taking in the sights and experiencing different cultures, fabulous shopping, especially for labels not available in Singapore.. not to mention the price differentials! (i'm still a practical Singaporean at heart haha. you can take me out of Singapore, but you can't take the Singaporean out of me).

however, on the downside, i miss the familiarity of home, the food, regular meetups with friends, and the partying. i think the closest i've come to partying recently is walking into A&F on 5th Avenue. feels like a club.. loud thumping music, dark interiors, good-lookers (the staff, not the shoppers.. most anyway).. only thing missing was the booze...

2008-01-11T17:59:00.003+08:00

the flight up to london was a very pleasant one, although getting off the plane was a welcomed breath of fresh air. the cold crisp air was a relief as i stood on the tarmac waiting for my bag. it wasn't so welcomed the next day though, when we decided to brave the windy cold and walked from gloucester to bayswater for lunch. every trip to london has me lamenting how expensive everything is, especially food! like my S$21 laksa and my S$36 chinese takeout. and these prices are after a 25% discount! ironically, it is always london where i spend the least overall... because i reserve all my shopping for when i visit LA or NYC hehehe....

2008-01-05T22:07:00.003+08:00

2007 was unremarkable really. there were no significant events or milestones to speak of, though i do recall a large dose of frustration with regards to the future, a constant desire to return to ballet, and not forgetting the breaking up of 55Q. flying is no longer the same without my dear team. looking back, i did not make good use of the year, letting the days slip by in a blur. i am however grateful to have seen two good friends walk down the aisle, and also share in the joy of welcoming a dear friend's newborn, regular meetups with dear friends and my long-lost ballet class, finding old friends through facebook, and of course having the dear boy with me always. our anniversary cruise, new tech toys, trips to london (extremely cold!) and cape town (extremely hot!). i ended the year in a flurry of frenzied shopping, trawling the malls in LA, meet ups with various groups of friends, and lots of hugs.

i am glad 2008 is here, a nice clean calendar for me to fill.

there is much to be done.

2007-12-24T01:24:00.003+08:00

the weekend before leaving for LA, i met up with the girls and a feisty little boy for dinner at coffee club, followed by braving the crazy christmas crowds outside. i'm so glad the shopping's all done, far away from the madding crowd. the next night was more decadence with the darling at ps cafe, where i ended the meal with a plate of five giant profiteroles drowned in dark chocolate and bathed with a generous sprinkling of sliced almonds.

so much for portion control.

the indulgence overflowed to LA. i finally tried the burger at in-n-out, and while it is not the best burger, for the price and the cooked-on-order beef, it was pretty good. i hoped the twelve hours of shopping after burned it all up.

_________________________________________

he sneakily sprang an early christmas surprise on me, knowing full well that i always walked over to my side of the bed. and as i bent over to set my bags down on the floor i saw a white paper bag hanging on the bedpost, and my boy grinning from ear to ear on the other side. it was such a lovely surprise. my bear with the wry smile will be waiting to adorn my other present.

2007-11-25T02:33:00.003+08:00

i didn't know he associates me with lilies. i know now :)

my birthday was a simple affair, my boy appeared at the door with a bouquet of lilies, and a lovely purse from his mom. as for the present from my boy... i found out a week ahead because he could not keep the secret no more. since the present isn't ready as yet, i shall not reveal what it is for now... ;p

miffed at my sneakiness, the boy refused to tell me where we were headed. despite the GPS, i still hadn't figured out the mystery restaurant.. blame it on terrible eyesight and the device being installed at the furthest right hand corner from me. the restaurant turned out to be Valentino's at Jln Bingka, off bukit timah road. we had a very noisy dinner, surrounded by groups of very high on wine people. we filled our rumbling tums with excellent antipasto and pasta and pizza and tiramisu capped with very very good coffee, all the while eyeing our fellow diners' huge salad platters and various antipasto, and that sinfully rich dark chocolate rum cake that we had to say no to, simply cos our stomachs were stretched beyond capacity. the boy and i concluded this would be the perfect spot for dinner with friends, what with huge servings of good food, excellent service, and a homey feel.

and today was a nice cosy and somewhat noisy meetup with mei.. no thanks to the rowdy fooball mad crowd. liquid kitchen is turning out to be a highly convenient spot for good beer and potato wedges. the dear girl gave me a very nice cd and a 12th anniversary gift.. which so reminded me of 1995. it had not occurred to me we've been friends that long. i can still recall bus trips home, choir practices, meetups at the playground... it's always nice to catchup with her.. reminiscing about the good ol' days.. finding out what's happening to friends around us, updating each other on recent events.. lots of good advice..here's to many more years of friendship mei :)

birthday treats

(...yes mei i am considering my options carefully :) .. if only life had a GPS...)

2007-11-20T07:55:00.002+08:00

beings with inflated egos, Achmed says, "silence! i kick you!"

their over-confidence begs the question: did it stem from a low self-esteem, such that there is a need to inflate thyself to pompousness, to bully and vent their irritations at the Innocent? would they see the ridiculousness of their behaviour when a mirror is held up to them?

but just as the drunk think they are never drunk, the "right" think they are never wrong...

2007-11-16T02:31:00.002+08:00

Perhaps it is that nagging feeling that yes, i am getting older every second that passes, that i need to take better care of myself.. consciously. i feel it when i am no longer as flexible, when my shoulder aches after a stressful day, when my back is in danger of giving way rendering me motionless for days... i feel ashamed when i see 40 year olds gyrating like nubile 18 year olds. what the ****!

i am slowly but surely getting back to conditioning the body, putting to use all those years of training. my reading material of late consists of health books, highlighting the evils of the food and drug industries, reaffirming my beliefs in going organic. i doubt it'll be a 100% change with the many constraints faced, so making little changes will be good for now.

sigh... with each passing year i am starting to question my choices made.. and what the next step would be. i consider too much. sigh.

2007-11-10T01:05:00.002+08:00

my weekend of happy random-ness...

baby sent a clip of achmed the dead terrorist and it is so hilarious! and so the past few days were filled with variations of the oft-used phrase from the clip..

silence!

i kiss/hug/sayang you!

a nice long deepavali weekend that happily coincided with my off days after LA. it was good to meet more of his family members and friends and i was happily surprised by the warm hugs and smiles. we watched lions for lambs and lust:caution (uncut) over the weekend. the former provided much food for thought; the latter, a beautifully shot film so pregnant with emotions, it left me reeling. i am still reeling days after. i so love it when a movie leaves me breathless.

and speaking of pregnant... a dear dear friend has welcomed a new arrival! congratulations to lydia & dejie, parents to baby ethan, who didn't give mommy a hard time during delivery and chose such a good time to come out into this world.

suddenly i feel surrounded by little darlings. yesterday a former colleague's sweet lil' princess charmed me with her shy smiles and her gift of a lovely red rose; and today, i held a dear friend's newborn, he has such smooth skin and beautiful ears! whilst there, i met her chilli padi niece with the beautiful big round eyes, and of course not forgetting the firstborn amongst my girlfriends, kai, who made me laugh when he said, "ambuRance.. bee bu bee bu.." :)

eventful off days. i like.

2007-11-10T00:52:00.002+08:00

2007-10-30T12:55:00.002+08:00

just another day at work...

someone left immensely happy, another wasn't too impressed.

in the midst of the hustle and bustle, i realised i hadn't had time to use the loo and finally had my cup of coffee at 10.30pm. and i still fell asleep on the couch midway through my wife & kids.

despite the recurrence of aching shoulders (it's time for another tui-na session.. ouch!), i'm still pretty happy, thanks to a compliment and a beautiful report :)

2007-10-18T02:58:00.003+08:00

Flinders Street Station, Melbourne

melbourne has got to be my favourite australian city, the funky vibe, friendly people, and excellent vietnamese beef noodles from mekong. yum! this time, i managed to finish the entire bowl, and it was the smallest size on the menu. with tums satisfied, we headed for melbourne central to the jurlique store, after much roundabout walking in heavy drizzle and freezing icy winds. it was hilarious hanging out with I. & E. as we played with the touchscreen storefinder like little children. i wish i had a longer stay, to revisit old faves and explore more. leaving the city the next afternoon, i was reminded of the little fiasco back in '04 at a little motor inn along the way. good ol' melbourne. till next time :)

2007-09-24T03:23:00.003+08:00

trudging along a dubai sidewalk, i concluded listlessly to my fellow trudging colleagues that i could never live in a place like this. not because i didn't like dubai. i just didn't like the heat.

buay tahan.

the cooler temperatures in istanbul were a welcomed relief. having missed out on buying the requisite apple tea the last time, i couldn't leave again without it. i indulged myself with huge dried turkish apricots as well and if i had more lira i'd probably cart home both fresh and dried figs too.

it was a joyful reunion with my darling when i got back on sunday and i put on my new dress cos it was sunday. and we walked around junction 8 because we didn't know what else to do. but i found out the money changer there had pretty good rates, anywhere besides the airport gives better rates! monday was another random day. i hopped into the car and gave my sweetie a cockadoodledoo! kiss then we went to pick up my benefit hamper prize. after which we headed for jln kayu wanton mee.. but it was closed, as expected. boo boo. nevermind that. we decided to go for fish soup and the much missed fishballs instead. the day ended all too soon cos he had to report for work that night. so we had a simple dinner and sent him off to the airport with sneaky goodbye kisses.

tee hee hee!

Tickle Test

2007-09-17T20:28:00.003+08:00

You're a Insightful Linguist!

The Classic IQ Test

Brought to you by Tickle

best score so far 129. hmm....

2007-09-05T14:32:00.002+08:00

i found my favourite korean drama's ost! i am so happy :)

at least now i can listen to it while i search for the the actual cd version, i want parts 1 and 2!

2007-09-04T00:17:00.002+08:00

Monday's horoscope:

You have plenty to do, but you could always add a few new projects or tasks to the list without interfering with your life too much. It is a great time to think about new ways to spend your time productively.

precisely. hit the nail on the head. bullseye.

it is exactly how i've been feeling! i came back from new york with a list of to dos. gotta find a dress. go check out my fave stores at home. finally drag myself downtown for a long and oft put off massage and facial. and my evergreen fave: spring-cleaning. yes, it's time, once again, to purge.

but since it is just past midnight, i suppose i'll have to wait till the sun comes up. tonight i will treat myself to a mask and some much-needed snoozing.

my darling came over earlier bearing my tomyum lunch and we finished the last of lost 3. for now anyway.

the more i watch lost, the more lost i feel.

and when it was all finished, we had a silly time wiggling and dancing with doggie and cheeca on the couch to a samba-esque soundtrack. it cracked me up hee!

the past month i've been feeling under the weather, walking around with a choked up respiratory tract and all groggy and blurry-eyed with too much nyquil. being in a rapidly descending plane is no fun when your eardrums feel like they'd burst anytime. but the bug has cleared and my hacking cough is gone. thank you robitussin. and of course my dearest who took care of me so well. muacks! so yay i can breathe properly again and finally get some much needed exercise. :)

2007-08-20T01:29:00.002+08:00

bathed in moonshine

silje nergaard filled the air

2007-08-09T17:17:00.002+08:00

today was one of those lousy days. y'know, the kind where everything seems to go wrong, the sort of i-think-i got-out-of-the-wrong-side-of-bed kinda day. perhaps it was the lack of sleep. perhaps i had been too optimistic. the morning storm was not exactly a good sign. perhaps it was to forewarn me of the black-as-thunder faces i would later come across, and over such trivial matters one would laugh any other day. but before you laugh, do think if you have exhibited such behaviour before. of course, the ones encountered today geared towards the extreme. but the ultimate disappointment came from the lack of help.

so much for teamwork.

in a moment of despair, i didn't know whether to laugh or cry. not literally of course. but for an instance, all i felt was absolute exhaustion. my poor parents and darling had to endure my torrent of rants and more rants. i just needed to vent it all out, and i felt so much better after.

i suppose we all have bad days like these, when you just want to scream/shout/pound/punch/throw. but as always, there will be a rainbow after the storm.

2007-07-30T17:08:00.002+08:00

summer in new york and what lovely weather. it wasn't as hot this time round, there was even an occasional breeze to lift the flagging spirits. turned out it'd been raining the past week. i told a shop owner that i was the bringer of sunshine. in jest, of course. the streets were filled with huge groups of tourists, and sightseeing buses lined the roadsides, operators calling out to people walking by. starbucks at every corner, fruit stands, newsstands, bagel and muffin food vendors, ice cream trucks, flashing lights on broadway, beauty shops selling shampoos and polishes, the shops that have grown so familiar.

now that broadway is just round the corner, i just had to watch a performance. having listened to the music of les miserables so much, i thought i might as well catch this one first. and it was great seeing lea selonga as fantine. she really made me want to cry. the cast was really good, my only gripe was how cramped the theatre was. i'm sure i wasn't the only one feeling squashed up in my seat. i wished i was watching this back home at the esplanade. the nice old gentleman next to me looked decidedly uncomfortable in that tiny space, as he chatted away about what else i had to catch on broadway.

leaving new york, i caught a glimpse of lincoln centre, the foyer and its shining chandeliers, and i thought to myself i must catch the nycb here at least once. as the coach takes us through the city i was filled with a tinge of sadness recalling the terror that shook the lives of so many. what insanity. i pray such terrors will never again hit anyone anywhere.

the city skyline by night still takes my breath away, a sight i await eagerly just as we enter the tunnel onwards to the airport. till next time, new york.

look what came out of my fortune cookie. how very apt.

2007-07-21T02:04:00.002+08:00

yesterday night we spent lots of time waiting. and waiting. from the gp's waiting room to the one at the a&e. my poor baby busted his knee. i cringed every time the doctors prodded his injured knee. my heart sank when i heard the word "surgery", though it isn't a certainty yet. i wish there's more that i can do... :(

2007-07-19T00:38:00.002+08:00

everyone is moving on, but i am as yet undecided. no, i will not make any rash decisions. perhaps this indecision is a sign, stay, till you are ready to face change.

it isn't all bad, and i still have much to see. rather than pining for what's gone, i really ought to look at the flipside of the situation. time on my hands is a precious commodity, and should be well-utilised. my dissatisfaction is my own fault, for it is me myself and i who've let time slip by me fruitlessly. the to-do list is neverending with endless reminders to go to the bank, to go run, to clean up my room, to organise the many travel pictures, to listen more, to read more, to write, to photograph....

it's nice to feel this way again.

2007-06-16T00:02:00.003+08:00

never go on a cruise during the school holidays.

i brought my cruise-iest outfits, all summery whites and shorts and skinny jeans. and imagined we were somewhere in the Mediterranean. bobby darin's beyond the sea would make a nice cruise soundtrack. we stood at the observation deck to watch the ship depart, and thoughts of the titanic crossed my mind, only to be banished quickly. sinking ship thoughts.... not exactly very cruise-y.

i finally have the time to tinker with the camera, the darling became my frequent subject of choice after i have had enough of the scenery around me. till he wanted to get behind the lens too.

we took pictures, and ate, and explored the ship, and ate again, we watched movies, and ate somemore. he sat beside me for lunch, and together we observed the many people surrounding us, making up stories. i think restaurants should stop sitting couples face to face. i like side by side better.

having explored most of the ship, we decided to check out the casino.

so thaaaaat's where all the singaporeans are.

he calls it "evil place". i so agree, don't they know the odds are always against them.

we sailed back the next day under a sunny blue sky. he chilled out on the deck, while i merrily snapped away on my black beauty.

thank you for the cruise darling.

happy anniversary :)

2007-06-07T02:53:00.002+08:00

tuesday night we decided to try simply peranakan at the esplanade. i liked the sambal long beans. sedap! a quick stroll after and we were off to catch zodiac at the cathay. the dear one sacrificed the last 10 minutes because he had to rescue the car before the carpark at the atrium closed. it felt strange without him there. and it was many happy hugs and kisses when we reunited in the car. the poor darling looked so sad. he drove home while i filled him in with my patchy memory.

this morning he brought me a curry puff so i wouldn't have to go to work with an empty stomach. knowing i would be home the same day put a spring in my step. boing boing.

2007-06-05T03:04:00.002+08:00

sometimes i just feel so inadequate. like i have nothing to show for all that i've put in. people make mistakes and i have made many.

looking back makes me sigh, for the past glories, and the missed opportunities. but looking forward, i am glad for the lessons learnt. there is so much i want to do, so much i could have done. i shouldn't be wasting any more time, shouldn't be afraid of embracing all that life has to offer. what am i fearing. the unknown and untrodden path? a risk taker i definitely am not. but i suppose i never will know till i try. maybe i just don't like to fail, that everything has to be a surety.

my wants are simple really, a loving and supportive relationship, a job that gives me satisfaction and fulfilment (and a comfortable paycheck hehe), time to enjoy leisurely pursuits, friendship, and family.

2007-05-22T01:00:00.002+08:00

i am in a quarter-life crisis! close friends would know that i've been bothered and bewildered by what to do with my life. perhaps i think too much. things will eventually work out, i am told.

will it?

i hope it does soon.

it is time to put aside my wings and come back down to solid ground. i know i will miss aspects of the job, but i feel a part of me that is often unsatisfied, unfulfilled. perhaps a move now will not mean finding nirvana, but when there is always a nagging feeling of purposelessness, is it not a signal for one to move on?

perhaps i am too much of a perfectionist. or perhaps i want to wear too many hats. i believe it is achievable, i just have not found my groove. i had it once, but it got lost along the way.

is this what it's all about? a journey to find my groove back?

2007-05-22T00:15:00.002+08:00

it'd be pretty convenient if i had a recording device in my mind that'd track the many notes i make going through the day, little anecdotes, musings, and memories. the hand itches to record what the eye sees, what the heart feels; i think it is time to take the paper diary out with me.

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over the weekend in perth, apart from shopping, much time was spent channel surfing in bed and oooh oprah reruns! i like how she always makes me feel positive about myself, how she makes me want to better myself. that particular episode reminded me again that one should not let oneself go, because in the end you'd only find yourself lost without a sense of self and identity. she pushed me to redefine my "self", ask myself who i truly am. a realisation that with my gains i have also lost.

it shouldn't have to be like this.

2007-05-16T00:27:00.002+08:00

on a long-distance call to my baby, and i am yakking away about my day and my results from celebrity face matching and what percentages i got for various celebs and he says,

"and you're 100% my darling".

i couldn't stop smiling :)

Pictures I forgot to post.. Oops.

2007-05-15T01:22:00.004+08:00

Beard Papa ichigo cream puff, a little thank you gift from my very sweet sny gal.

(Narita, March 2007)

the darling furballs barring me from the laptop.

the Apple store in New York, 5th Avenue

in the centre below the Apple is a cylindrical glass elevator that takes you underground. the store itself, however, is pretty typical of Apple stores in terms of design. it is a huge store, with plenty of gadgets for one to play around with, no need to worry about hoggers.

another beautiful day in paradise.

(Male, April 2007)

2007-05-02T09:32:00.002+08:00

an innocent stroll around zara last night turned into a mini spree for me. walking into shops now can be a love-hate tussle sometimes, when anything used to fit then, it's upsetting to be much restricted now.

persevere persevere persevere.

we had dinner at chatterbox since it was the nearest option and since we were there, we had to try the famous chicken rice. the rice was fragrant, the chicken tender, and the portions weren't dainty. considering its price, i suppose this belongs to the try at least once category.

though it's not exactly the healthiest option when one's trying to downsize... i am satisfied with the little changes made for now.

persevere persevere persevere.

2007-05-01T15:46:00.002+08:00

no more wires. no more boundaries. hoorah for wi-fi!

am back from the maldives. being there is always rejuvenating and the fresh air was good for me since i've been feeling a toxic overload these days. too much indulgence... it's time to get back to reality. there cannot be rewards without pain. i've realized keeping things simple and light is still the best way to live. sugar and cream and processed stuff are killing me. ugh.

i need constant mental reminders to not neglect myself. perhaps i really need to start considering a more regular schedule. the irregularity of flying is sapping the energy out of me.

the bottomline? time to get organised!

i think i'd need a very big planner.

2007-04-22T17:09:00.002+08:00

my old blog name has been usurped!

by a "prettyman tristan". oh how underhanded.

i am wrinkling my nose in disgust.

________

saturday lunch with the girls at cosy marmalade pantry, i like. despite the heavy eyelids and hyperactivity on my part, having just returned from new york that same morning, it was a most enjoyable afternoon.

ah.. new york, new york. i was in confusion when i got notified, at 6am in the morning. should i go? the income i needed. and so i packed my bags in 20 minutes, and reported for work despite having slept a measly 2 hours. it was sweet heavenly sleep when i crawled into bed, a rarity for me in the big apple.

but i am happy i went, new york being one of my favourite cities. plus it was the last chance to have breakfast at john's, the diner round the corner. i must bring my precious dSLR the next time i go hehheh.

have been less than diligent with the burn. tis bad. very bad.

yucks.

2007-04-03T10:12:00.002+08:00

i don't know what to do anymore.

i am too tired to think.

i am tired of thinking.

i am tired.

what have i done.....

2007-03-31T00:23:00.002+08:00

the corners of my mouth can't help twitching into a smile whenever i recall the silly things we did at toys 'r us.. especially the sight of rows of singing and dancing spidermen left me giggling helplessly. a happy memory to treasure and savour.

2007-03-30T09:26:00.002+08:00

the newness of the morning was strangely calming, wrapping me within her dewy warmth.

and it felt safe again.

that same feeling which i so crave; the feeling i get when hidden amongst the sheets, hugging myself tight.. my retreat from the world, my sanctuary.

and there i can hear myself again.

all i wanted to do was to crawl inside a hole to be alone for a while.

i am, after all, only human.

2007-03-13T13:26:00.003+08:00

sometimes the inside needs a little attention too...

_________________

dilemmas..dilemmas..sucks to feel this way...

2007-03-09T17:41:00.002+08:00

it was a wonderful three days with my darling and the team in cape town. the last long team flight with them had me tearing a little when we had to leave the aircraft. the many stories shared, the laughter and banter, everyone's funny little quirks, the friendly nicknames; flying won't be the same without them. in a line where colleagues come and go, it isn't easy to come across such a great bunch of colleagues and friends.

The Victoria & Albert Waterfront (Table Mountain in the background), where we had so much for lunch we skipped dinner that night.

View from the hotel lobby

Sunset at the beach

well-fed from our afternoon feasting, we trooped down to the beach for our favourite team activity, taking pictures! after all, the hotel was just a hop and a skip away. how cool it must be to have the atlantic ocean right at your doorstep.

Camp's Bay

out to sea to see the seals! (Hout's Bay)

seal colony (beautiful creatures but they definitely need proper loos..)

Chapman's Peak Drive

South African Jackass Penguins

At the Cape of Good Hope

At Cape Point - Indian Ocean on the right, Atlantic Ocean on the left

there was a power failure when we were at Cape Point, yeah, what luck huh. and so the 4 braved ones made the mad uphill hike up to the lookout and lighthouse right at the top. it was all well worth it for the views atop were absolutely breathtaking, not to mention we were nearly blown away literally. plus, that hike up made my planned gym session redundant yay! to be at such a historically and geographically important place was awe-inspiring. there is just something about mountains and high serene places like these that never fails to make problems melt away. i felt free and above it all... if only i had the luxury of having them nearby to escape to when the madness of the mundane gets too much.

Foot of Table Mountain

View from the top of Table Mountain

Doggie and his new friend, Cheeca
the dear one bought the little cheetah for me and gave me a surprise on the plane :)

2007-02-19T00:19:00.002+08:00

a high fever and alone in cold cold new york. it did not stop the dear one from enlisting the help of a good friend to plan a little valentine's surprise dinner for me. i was deeply touched by the thoughtfulness and utterly guilty for not planning anything this time round. and it made me realise perhaps i've been too caught up in myself in recent days, allowing routine to dull my senses.

am feeling mad at myself. must not let me get into such a state ever again.

2007-02-12T19:09:00.002+08:00

a perfect sunday afternoon it was. i met the girls for brunch at the marmalade pantry. my usual american breakfast came with wonderful sauteed mushrooms, perfectly done and not drowned in oil. joo had french toast and decadent honey ice cream, cia ordered a crab caeser salad, and grace had the chicken wholemeal wrap. all of which were really good, and the portions weren't too dainty either, which was great, cos it's tiresome paying high prices for measly portions.

however, the piece de resistance was the famed sticky date toffee pudding with vanilla bean ice cream. we decided we had to make room for dessert, especially the afore-mentioned, wondering what was so fantastic about it. and it certainly lived up to its acclaim.

it'd be wonderful if this gem of a place weren't hidden in a basement, but a bright breezy location with an alfreso area.

cia and i met the auyongs coincidentally at epicenter@wheelock. yuling showed us her very nice birthday present, and i thought they were seeds at first. oops! heh.. she's mrs. greenfingers what.

(i would've loved to stay and chat more but i had to dash lest i get nagged by dad for being late.)

it's good to be home.

2007-02-02T02:46:00.002+08:00

are we going out on valentine's day?

every day with you is valentine's day baby.

:) :) :)

2007-01-29T15:51:00.002+08:00

such a fairytale it was waking up to snowflakes drifting past our window, though it only lasted for five minutes. and while i read the papers the dear one bought us breakfast from the cafe round the corner. it sure made being away in cold london so homey :)

and to the london eye we went a-walking in the frosty cold, stopping to take pictures of the Eye acoss the embankment, and of the houses of parliament and big ben.

it was such a smooth ride up and around the wheel, if only it wasn't so expensive!

back at oxford circus, we stopped for lunch at "all bar one" at regent street. one wall was filled with bottles of wine and champagne and the whole place was bathed with the afternoon sun, which was great because outside was brrrrr chilly to the core. the darling had a huge juicy beef burger with portobello while i ordered the chicken and chorizo skewers which had the slight charred smoky flavour that i like. the cappucino i had was smooth with just the right intensity. it was also a pleasant surprise that it came with m&ms and raw pieces of sugar instead of the usual biscotti.

(heh... i couldn't resist stirring in the foam and taking a sip..oops!)

we ended our day out with some shopping, how ironic that we choose to avoid the crowds back home and here we are in london jostling with the crowds. though h&m and zara had unbelievably good sales i decided it wouldn't be fair to keep the dear one waiting. though i did give in to river island because i simply had to check out what all the fuss was about. hee.

no matter how cold london was, for once, the numb fingers and painful ears did not bother me because this time, i had the darling to keep me warm.

awww..

2007-01-23T00:46:00.002+08:00

if you have not watched blood diamond, go see it. although, it did make me think twice about buying diamonds. behind the glittery facets could be the blood of innocents. the film won't stop me from buying my "best friends", though being aware is a step ahead of ignorance at the very least.

while this movie left me pondering and staring at the rolling credits, a chinese movie i caught late one night left me sobbing uncontrollably. roots and branches was an absolute tearjerker, so thankfully alone i was in the dark. the four young actors and actresses were so heartwrenchingly good. and to think i almost turned the telly off.
i am waiting eagerly for the pursuit of happyness starring will smith. an underlying need for motivation perhaps? the daily drone is making me lose sight of looking ahead. to quote mr. smith in a RD interview:

"There is no pain worse than not achieving a dream when it is your fault. If God did not want you to have it, that is one thing. But if you do not get what you desire because you are lazy, there is no pain worse than that."

reading this was like a big slap in the face. and i had to face up to reality. things won't happen if i don't do something. and sitting on my butt ain't gonna make it shrink. neither will my aspirations come true without any sacrifice or hard work. so thank you mr. smith for the wake-up call.

while i am not expecting to achieve superhuman feats in a year, i think i have a lot of overhauling and revamping to keep me occupied in 2007.
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chinatown in manchester

the manchester eye

man u fans would think me mad to not visit old trafford. oops. what to do? i am not a football fan. besides, it was an unplanned for trip up to dear ol' england. so i contented myself with exploring the city, even though there were gale force winds outside. it was wild getting whipped by the strong winds and yes, even I was afraid i'd get blown away. other than the winds, i will always remember this manchester as the trip i paid 1.80 pounds for a bowl of plain white rice. yikes!

2007-01-06T17:08:00.002+08:00

boxing day and in the bed i was, sitting up was impossible. it was a painful way to end christmas. to be suddenly rendered immobile was frightening and painful and never was i so thankful for having family around. the doc at the a&e was an angel.

being dependent on others for little things sure didn't feel good, and now i see how others worse off than me must feel. a timely reminder to be thankful everyday for being well.

lazy afternoon in new york

2006-12-13T07:34:00.002+08:00

the empire state building is wearing christmas colors. and a gorgeous view i have of it from my room window. turn the other direction and the eye sees blocks and blocks of concrete boxes dotted with countless little windows. the ears are bombarded by a cacophony of neverending honks and sirens, i am amazed i manage to sleep. somehow. and far down below are hordes of frantic shoppers bundled up in coats and boots, clutching precious bagfuls of christmas goodies.

i always try to get some exercise while overseas. but the only thing i exercise in new york is restraint. (after my woo-hoo! spree in LA, i had to pull in the reins.) naughty me was tempted by the beautiful fendi store on 5th. but, i decided to move on. and entering prada opposite was almost dangerous. it was a good thing the eyes didn't spy dior anywhere close by. and i walked out of my usual stores empty-handed.

golly.

new york is really made for walking. there's so much to take in all around you. the store windows are always changing. starbucks is everywhere for a convenient cuppa. a good day's walking is better than pounding the treadmill anytime. plus at christmas time, the air is simply buzzing with festivity. stores are scented with vanilla and cranberries and spicy gingerbread. macy's windows were really nice with roaring lions and growling polar bears that moved. they were cute and furry of course. anything cute and furry, i like.

kittycat watching home alone 2

rockefeller center

home alone 2 was on hbo, yeah how many times have we already seen it, but i left it on for the carols. back when i first saw it, i never imagined i would visit new york (and so often at that), and here i am, in my new york hotel room watching that same movie. and i just took a picture at rockefeller centre with that famous christmas tree.

life is full of surprises isn't it?

2006-12-09T16:14:00.002+08:00

my scorched forearm. such a klutz i am. this is how it looks 8 days old. i've been advised to stay away from shellfish and dark soy. any other good ideas? it doesn't hurt anymore but damn did it hurt the first 2 days.

2006-12-03T02:01:00.003+08:00

Birthday CD from mei. music that's so hauntingly beautiful...

it's great when you have a friend who shares your tastes in music. we spent a chilled out friday afternoon over lunch and coffee. we so love our coffees (and teas... ). just as the chatter got spicier i had to dash and just barely managed to salvage my little surprise at the airport (my apologies mei!). coffee session to be adjourned :)

2006-11-23T17:11:00.002+08:00

birthday roses!

2006-11-23T02:10:00.002+08:00

Abercrombie & Fitch

Banana Republic

i totally splurged in LA! it was one shop after another, i was merrily skipping from banana republic to abercrombie & fitch to forever 21 to gap to hollister. besides the clothes and jackets, i got myself mineral makeup from lali, and dermalogica microexfoliant.. and a few miscellaneous items.. heh...
this is what happens after weeks of non-shopping. but it felt oh-so-good! these sporadic thrills can be very uplifting.
___________________________________________
toxic people, whom i've been coming across pretty frequently, the type who are unpredictable, who bring you up one moment and put you down the next, people who are downright rude and insensitive, i really should steer clear of these people. they do my self-esteem no good at all.

now the one person who always makes me feel good about myself is my dearest :) and the darling surprised me with a be-ribboned box when i awoke from my little catnap.

tadah!

"Only You"

he remembered that i love precious moments.

and i told pilot boy, my favourite part of the figurine are the hands.

only you, my darling

2006-11-23T02:02:00.002+08:00

vintagey postcards from a little antique bookstore in lucerne

2006-11-14T03:23:00.002+08:00

pilot boy: mmm...mmm... baby's looking sexy today *twinkle in the eye*

flying girl: awww.... really? *big smile*

it always makes my day

2006-11-12T01:32:00.003+08:00

in the mood to blog. which isn't very often these days.

so i'd better write before the mood goes missing again.

is it november already!? and how have i fared so far. the i-don't-wanna-care-about-anything phase has thankfully passed and i am back to being purposefully busy. i like having purpose and i like being busy. most of the time anyway. london finally after almost a year and a half. the lion king was sold out, as prepared for it as i was, it was still a tad disappointing. and so a walkin i went to covent garden immersing meself in some culture and preppy coolness.

i love winter for the coats and boots. i loathe winter because it gives me frozen fingers and toes and makes shopping a real pain. the year-end is always such a pocket burner. and of all times, i have to decide that i shall not stinge on my wardrobe anymore, not good news because my shopping list has thus grown exponentially. add christmas presents to the list and ... errr.... heh..

i console myself that a splurge is well worth it for quality coats and sweaters and boots and clothes and shoes and bags will last me a long time. plus christmas is but once a year hehe.

7 more weeks before we say hello to 2007 and i am working hard to fulfil those darn resolutions. not much progress but certainly better than when i started. neglecting myself this year was a really bad mistake. i suppose life's like that, filled with little ups and downs. i just have to deal with it, more action, less whining.